PICTURE
  • Email: cambolah at yahoo dot com
  • About me
  • Best Viewed Using Firefox: Get Firefox!
PICTURE
    PICTURE
    • Template based on a design by Thur
    •       
      Marriage is love.
    www.flickr.com
    This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from cambolah. Make your own badge here.
    Join the People Over Profits Grassroots Network.
      CURRENT MOON
      moon info
        The WeatherPixie
          NaJuReMoNoMo
              Winner
              1 : 00 : 00 : 00
                 DAYS         HOURS          MIN             SEC
              build your own countdown
                  PICTURE PICTURE PICTURE PICTURE PICTURE
                      Save the Internet: Click here

                        Powered by Blogger

                        Tuesday, January 31, 2006

                        The day civil rights died


                        I received an email today from our top appellate attorney, Richard Toth pointing out something on the web. After reading it, I opened my browser and went to my home page, which is My Yahoo.

                        There, right before my eyes was the headline:

                        Alito Sworn In at Supreme Court

                        Right below it read:

                        Coretta Scott King Dead at 78

                        Upon reflecting on her death, I recalled the day I spent working the polls back in 2002 in a cold, driving rain for the Ypsilanti Campaign for Equality. The Campaign was fighting an attempt to amend the city's charter to legalize discimination on the basis of sexual orientation. I worked the polls from seven in the morning until after the votes were counted.

                        One of the things I did was hand out a copy of a letter drafted by Mrs. King to our organization explaining that she supported our cause of non-discrimination. Though I was working our weakest precinct, we took a majority there by a margin of less than 10 votes. We won the entire city by a two to one margin.

                        It is truly ironic that on the day of Mrs. King's death, the swing vote on our Supreme Court joins to form a strong conservative majority for the first time in a very, very long time. Today marks the end of an era, and the beginning of a new one, albeit one that brings me much pessimism. I hope I'm wrong, but I don't think I am.

                        UPDATE: Kelly was kind enough to call me on my misuse of "conservative majority," particularly in using it as a pejorative. I was wrong to do that. He is exactly right, there is nothing wrong with a conservative majority.

                        My concern is with activist judges, whether conservative or liberal. I feel our courts should be apolitical. When Justices such as Alito, Thomas and Scalia inject their personal politics into our Judiciary, we all lose. Alito spooks me not because he is conservative, but because he appears to have an activist political agenda.


                        * * * * * * * * * *

                        On another note, I will be in Alabama for the rest of the week, so the group songwriting attempt will have to wait a bit longer. I have received several submissions, but not from everybody. This is your chance for a reprieve. Comment on the post below, or email me with your suggestions, lyrics, whatever, so when I get back, I can begin incorporating them in earnest.

                        Monday, January 30, 2006

                        Goodbye Grandma, with love

                        Jackie Cranfill, 1914 - 2006

                        Saturday, January 28, 2006

                        Soundtrack of my life, pt. 2

                        Just over a month ago, I posted on Kate Bush, whose music has been a recurring theme throughout my recently concluded marriage.

                        Now, mean_girl tagged me with a meme with a similar theme, only this time, its all about music throughout my entire life:
                        1. Tell us of some songs in your life that remind you of a person, place or a specific event in your life. The kind of song that everytime you hear it, it will always, no matter what, make that person, place or "thing" pop into your head instantly. You can write as few or as many "songs" as you want. And it can be a song or two songs or a whole album.

                        2. Give a brief description of the person, place or thing it reminds you of.

                        3. You can choose to tag people or not. Whatever you want to do. And you can tag as few or as many people as you want.

                        4. You don't have to link the songs or the lyrics unless you want to.

                        5. If you play, you have to leave me a comment so that I can come and read yours.
                        What an excellent idea, m_g! Mine is bound to be bizarre, so here goes (in chronological order of my introduction to them):

                        1. Bob Seger: Still the Same
                        My sister and I loved this song, and as little kids we put together a dance routine that we relentlessly insisted on performing for friends, relatives and neighbors over and over and over again.

                        2. Kiss: Rock and Roll All Night
                        Yup, I was that jackass kid who brought Kiss Alive to elementary school for show and tell. My teacher was shocked, but she played it . . . No kidding. My buds and I used to try and dress up and pretend to be Kiss, much to the horror of my parents and the neighborhood.

                        3. Def Leppard: Photograph
                        Back in high school, I was in my first rock band with John Dunne and Chris Ledbetter. We spent countless hours in John's basement fancying ourselves soon-to-be heavy metal gods. When Def Leppard's Pyromania first came out, we were listening to it long before it caught on in the states. We used to play Photograph all the time, thinking we were God's gifts to teenage girls everywhere.

                        4. Van Halen: Dreams
                        My very first love was a girl one year younger than me, Kerrie Lewis. This was our song. You may stop groaning now . . .

                        5. Kate Bush: Hounds of Love
                        I fell in love with my ex-wife to this album while we were both students living in Manhattan. CD players were not yet in the mainstream, and even in New York City, I had to actually order this on CD, and wait a week for it to come in before I got to listen to it.

                        6. Tori Amos: Silent All These Years
                        Of all the records I had the privilege of working on while in L.A. employed in the music biz, this was the most compelling. The string sessions for her Little Earthquakes record were recorded in Capitol Records' newly refurbished Studio A, and the rest of the record was done in Studios B and C. Tori was a tiny woman, extremely intelligent, creative, and easy to get along with, and clearly the youngest person at the sessions. Yet she had all these middle-aged and older men looking to her every moment for guidance. She was and is a world-class performer. In the song, the lyric "silent all these years," where her voice harmonizes an octave above the melody, is as stunning today as it was then.

                        7. They Might Be Giants: Birdhouse in Your Soul
                        When living in L.A., pretty much all I listened to when in my car was KROQ (this was before CD players were ubiquitous in cars). This song was a huge hit, and I still remember driving up Ventura Blvd. to Studio City to visit a good friend, Dokken Polk (yes, that's really her name), while totally jamming to this one.

                        8. Nine Inch Nails: Hurt
                        While living in Denver going to law school, I used to take the bus down Colfax all the time. That particular bus attracted all sorts of characters. I used to listen to extreme music on my portable CD player, but none more than Nine Inch Nails. I totally loved jamming to this entire CD while riding that bus, but Hurt was may fave.

                        9. Kristen Hersh: Your Ghost from Hips and Makers
                        I first heard this on the radio in Denver and loved it immediately. Michael Stipe of REM sang a guest background vocal. This haunting song introduced me to Hersh's uniquely female perspective, and I still love this CD today. My boss at the time, Eric Perez, and I used to swap music to listen to at work, and after listening to this CD, he brought it back with the oddest look on his face. I doubt he's listened to her since.

                        10. Trust Company: The Lonely Position of Neutral
                        I saw these guys opening for some band a few years ago in downtown Detroit that I can't even remember. They were very, very young, but their music was fantastic. After seeing them, I purchased their CD, and heard they were coming back to the basement of St. Andrews Hall. Crazy Dave and I went to see them, they rocked, and Crazy Dave literally dove into the mosh pit as the end of their set neared.

                        I'm tagging Emily, Jim, Yellojkt, Kelly and myself this time around. Mean_girl's post got me thinking, and so I'll be posting on the same meme later this week, but it will be on songs I've written and recorded. So, stay tuned.

                        Wednesday, January 25, 2006

                        Write a song with me, will you?


                        Photograph courtesy Tudor Hulubei

                        I thought it might be fun to solicit some help from my blog-friends writin' some songs.

                        Collaborate with me, if you're willing. I know you're busy, but if you give it a try, this could be fun. If you don't, you'll never know. Let's call it an experiment. I can tell you, I've never done it this way. If nothing else, it'll certainly be interesting, no?

                        Click on the mp3 link below, download the song in its instrumental form, put it on your iPod or other mp3 player (or leave it on your computer -- but it'll sound better on a player). Listen. Spend a bit of time if you can (however long or short you want) getting to know the music, it's structure, form, groove, vibe, and overall feel. Then, via comment or email, tell me what you think it should be about. Tell me if you think it needs changes. Should I add something structurally? Should I add or subtract an instrument? Does it need some percussion? Whatever you think, make a suggestion. Think of a theme, write a couple stanzas of lyrics, suggest a melody or harmony, offer ideas, anything. It's all fair game.

                        There's no wrong or right thing to say. The music is all digitally recorded and completely editable. If need be, I can even start again and record it all over, taking it in a different direction.

                        You game? Go ahead, give it a try. Nothing to lose, but perhaps a bit of your time.

                        Download by right-clicking on this and choosing "Save Link As . . ." If you just want to listen from the post, merely click on the link.

                        This one has a very simple and repetitive form, as the intro and breaks are musically identical to the verses:
                        Intro / v1 / v2 / instr'l break / v3 / v4 / b-section / solo-break / v5 /coda

                        Monday, January 23, 2006

                        Ho hum, just some more boring content . . .

                        Inspired by Yellojkt, I took my blog-life into my own hands and . . .

                        Yes, I submitted my site for a review by the bitches over at Miss Chatty's.

                        The initial review was, not surprisingly, unfavorable shall we say -- just two smacks. But, after my blog-over (is that a word?), The Irritable Trollop upped it to four. Did you hear me? Four smacks! [does a little happy dance]

                        And by the way, TIT, thank you very much.

                        She refused to give me a fifth, because she found my content boring. Which pretty much proves the point that I can put on a suit, get a hair cut, and buy some new glasses, but I can't change who I am. Shoulda learned that during all that wildly successful marriage counseling, no? Well, having just a moment ago recovered from the burning sting of reality, I guess I'll just have to be more interesting, then.

                        So now I can say, in that testosterone-infused, uniquely male competitive kind of way, Yellojkt may be smarter than me, but the bitch smacked me harder ;^)

                        Now it's your turn to The image “http://www.italk2much.com/images/ITTM_button1_KBB05.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors. Go ahead. What you waitin' for?

                        Sunday, January 22, 2006

                        OK, no freakin' out now . . .

                        Well, as you know, I've been experiencing a modicum of stress recently. An abundance of anxiety. A smidgen of strife. A dab of distress. A pinch of pressure.

                        Well, I somehow permitted my obsessive-compulsive nature to get the better of me this weekend. I rather impulsively re-designed my entire blog. I don't know diddley-squat about programming computers (the only class I failed in college was a computer science class), and I certainly don't know a thing about html. Interestingly, my unique brand of obsessive-compulsiveness seems to substitute quite nicely for actual ability. Well, it's either that or a strong dose of self-deception . . .

                        I once had a property professor in law school who thought there should only be one test for lawyers. Instead of preparing for and taking the LSATs, instead of spending three years in law school and paying tens of thousands of dollars, instead of studying for and taking the bar exam, the only things prospective lawyers should be tested for is obsessiveness and compulsiveness. Presumably, if we hire obsessive-compulsives to practice law, their very analness (anality?) alone will cause them to perform impeccably. He may be onto something there.

                        I initially wanted a sidebar on both sides of my content, but I was having trouble with my prior template modification in Internet Explorer (thank you Microsoft -- it worked just fine in every single other browser). I also wanted a center column with more room for pictures and content than the other template. Consequently, I surfed on over to Thur's Templates, borrowed one, modified it, created my own banner, and voila -- new template.

                        At any rate, please let me know what you think of it. If it sucks, feel free to let me know. If it doesn't suck, let me know that, too. Okay now, have at it already!

                        Friday, January 20, 2006

                        Who will it be?

                        On October 21, 2005, I installed a counter here to see how many people were visiting. It's on the left hand side down the sidebar aways. I was a bit freaked when I learned that I was getting about 10 times as many visitors as I had anticipated.

                        This weekend, the 5,000th visitor will view my blog. Who will it be? Will it be you?

                        If you visit over the weekend and notice that you are number 5,000, leave me a brief comment announcing your good fortune, won't you?

                        What I do all day, every day

                        Brian Dickerson wrote a fantastic article summing up what's wrong with our tort system these days. No, it's not runaway juries. Nope, it's not ambulance chasing personal injury attorneys. Nope, it's not crazy, activist judges.

                        It's insurance companies.

                        Instead of making good on the policies they write, they refuse to pay on legitimate claims, and they nickel and dime everyone. They nickel and dime victims, they nickel and dime expert witnesses, and they nickel and dime their own attorneys. The reason insurance rates are so high, in my view, isn't because of huge payouts or frivolous lawsuits. It's because insurance companies drive up the costs of litigation defending indefensible cases and refusing to pay reasonable compensation to seriously injured victims. By doing this, many, many cases end up costing policy holders hundreds of thousands of dollars to defend, and they result in policy payouts anyhow after too much money is spent "learning" that the claim can't be reasonably defended. They are essentially flushing good money down the toilet by pursuing this pervasive strategy.

                        Insurers don't really mind doing this, because if you actually need your insurance policy for any reason, they will simply raise your rates to recoup some of their money back. And if you switch insurers, they will share your claims information with the other insurer, which will ensure that the other insurance company will overcharge you as well. Anti-trust and unfair competition laws don't apply to insurance companies. Did ya' know that? Really, they don't.

                        Insurance companies have created a trillion-dollar industry, much of which is dependent upon our American jury system. If our jury system imploded, or was legislated away by tort reform, there would be virtually no reason for many insurance companies to exist, as the people they insure would no longer need liability insurance. If you can't be held liable for a injury you caused, there won't be a market to provide you insurance for that potential liability. It's really quite simple.

                        This is precisely why tort reform doesn't get rid of frivolous lawsuits, by the way. So long as people, professionals, and corporations are worried that they will be sued (frivolously or not), they will continue to pay top dollar for insurance to defend and pay those lawsuits. This is also why tort reform hasn't reduce insurance premiums and why no-fault auto insurance is still costly in most states. Instead of helping the consumer, as is touted by the insurance industry publicly, tort reform merely reduced payouts by insurers, pretty much for no other reason than to save those insurers money and increase their profits.

                        Insurers control the defense of these lawsuits with an iron fist. When you see a lawsuit against doctors and hospitals, against the drivers of cars that ran red lights and killed people, against lawyers who mess up their clients' cases, the defense is never actually run by the defense lawyer. On the contrary, the defense is run by an insurance company. The defense lawyer has virtually no discretion to do anything except that which the insurance company wants him or her to do. If the defense lawyer continually says, "Hey insurance company -- you've got to settle this case or the trial will be a disaster with a huge verdict against you," the defense lawyer will likely be fired and another, quieter, less outspoken attorney will be hired to do as they are told.

                        As insurance companies defend personal injury cases, they think about one thing and one thing only -- saving themselves money. We once spent all day trying to settle a case against two hospitals and a single physician. Because this physician missed a key diagnosis that should have been obvious to him, a baby suffered a terrible injury that would permanently impact her life until the day she died.

                        The hospitals had been sued also, because under Michigan law, they were responsible for the actions of the doctor (like an employer can be responsible for an employee's actions). Technically speaking, the hospitals hadn't done anything wrong on their own, but they were responsible for the doctor's misdiagnosis. Between the two hospitals, a $900,000 was on the table for settlement. The law is this way mainly because doctors want it this way, so that they can count on the hospital to save them if they end up with liability in excess of their professional liability policies.

                        The doctor only had an insurance policy worth $100,000, and the hospital's expected the settlement to total $1 Million based upon his contribution. The physician's insurance company, however, wanted to try and save money instead. The insurance representative (notorious throughout Michigan for doing these kind of things) refused to offer the policy and instead offered $87,500. His rationale was that the plaintiff would have to spend at least another $12,500 litigating the case for a few more months, and consequently this injured baby's parents should accept less to get their settlement now.

                        We rejected the offer. The hospitals, who were to be left holding the bag for the physician if the case was tried, finally, after a long day of negotiations, agreed to pay that $12,500 between them. Which just goes to show you that this kind of crap actually works. One insurer received a discount at the cost of two other insurers.

                        Next time you hear that tort reform is needed to solve our society's woes, don't believe the hype. What we need is insurance reform.

                        Sunday, January 15, 2006


                        The full moon was stunning as it rose last night, tinted a rosy hue and magnified by the atmosphere just above the horizon. The girls saw it and couldn't take their eyes off.

                        "The moon is following us, daddy," said Esme.

                        We tried to get out the telescope to see it more closely from our back yard, but we couldn't find the lenses in the mess that still engulfs the house after Liz packed up her stuff and moved out yesterday.

                        As I got ready for bed, I could hear the girls breathing slowly and softly in their beds. After turning out the lights, I noticed the neighborhood illuminated in the bright glow of the full moon on a cloudless night. The shadow from my roofline drew a razor-sharp partition down the middle of the alley below my bedroom window. After silently moving to the tower room at the front of my house, so as to not disturb the girls, I could see down the hill, across the river all the way to the other side of town on this extraordinarily bright night.

                        I'm hoping I can find the lenses today as I sift through some of this collossal mess, but since clouds have rolled in, there may be nothing to see tonight even if I can somehow locate them. Over the last month, we have seen the sun and moon on so few occasions that it appears today will be typical -- greyish and whitish hues in the sky, but little else.

                        Thursday, January 12, 2006

                        The one-too-many post

                        For those of you that know me, when I am unable to let go of something, I have an annoying tendency to post just one time too many on it. So, in recognition of my unending ability to beat a long-dead dog, to overstay my welcome, I offer excerpts of some of the best, worst and cheesiest breakup songs in recognition of this fact.

                        They also offer good advice about how to move on from a relationship that has for one reason or another, gone south. Well, if you're a teenager, that is . . .

                        If you have to end it right now, Simon says:
                        Just slip out the back, Jack
                        Make a new plan, Stan
                        You don't need to be coy, Roy
                        Just get yourself free
                        Hop on the bus, Gus
                        You don't need to discuss much
                        Just drop off the key, Lee
                        And get yourself free
                        Travis Tritt, with sincerity and sentimentality, soothes us with his lilting soliliquy:
                        Here's a quarter, call someone who cares.
                        And I can hardly recall the days when a phone call was just a quarter.

                        For those ready to throw the sorry lout on out of the house and move on, the wisdom of Gloria Gaynor:
                        I would've changed that stupid lock
                        I would've made you leave your key
                        If I'd have known for just one second you'd be back to bother me.
                        Go on now go walk out the door
                        just turn around now
                        'cause you're not welcome anymore
                        weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
                        you think I'd crumble
                        you think I'd lay down and die
                        Oh no, not I
                        I will survive
                        as long as I know how to love
                        I know I will stay alive
                        I've got all my life to live
                        I've got all my love to give
                        and I'll survive
                        I will survive
                        The queen of lost love, Bonnie Tyler, opines:
                        I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark.
                        We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks.
                        I really need you tonight, forever's gonna start tonight, forever's gonna start tonight.
                        The timeless face of the 70s (Cher), revisits this timeless issue 20 years later, with an abundance of timely cosmetic surgery:
                        If I could turn back time
                        If I could find a way
                        I'd take back those words that have hurt you
                        And you'd stay
                        If you just can't let go (like if you're wallowing in freakish misery, for example), Air Supply tells ya':
                        I'm all out of love
                        I'm so lost without you
                        I know you were right
                        Believing for so long
                        I'm all out of love,
                        What am I without you?
                        I can't be too late
                        To say that I was so wrong
                        In the words of the master of romance, Meat Loaf:
                        I poured it on and I poured it out
                        I tried to show you just how much I care
                        I’m tired of words and I’m too hoarse to shout
                        But you’ve been cold to me so long
                        I’m crying icicles instead of tears

                        And all I can do is keep on telling you
                        I want you
                        I need you
                        But -- there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you
                        Now don’t be sad
                        ’cause two out of three ain’t bad
                        Now don’t be sad
                        ’cause two out of three ain’t bad

                        You’ll never find your gold on a sandy beach
                        You’ll never drill for oil on a city street
                        I know you’re looking for a ruby in a mountain of rocks
                        But there ain’t no coupe de ville hiding at the bottom of a cracker jack box
                        Another timeless master (I know this b/c he's done an acoustic record produced by Rick Rubin), Neil Diamond, teaches us:
                        Love on the rocks
                        Ain't no surprise
                        Pour me a drink
                        And I'll tell you some lies
                        Yesterday's gone
                        And now all I want is a smile
                        Well, alrighty then, here's your big chance to help me move on. What is your favorite breakup song and why?

                        Tuesday, January 10, 2006

                        This afternoon, we called it quits

                        Last night, my wife and I had a "signing" ceremony at our kitchen table. We sipped Kentucky bourbon, reminisced about good times, and signed all of our divorce documents.

                        This afternoon, at approximately 2:25 P.M., my wife and I called it quits on our marriage. Documents were filed, testimony was taken, and a judgment was entered.

                        This morning, when I woke up, I was married. Now I'm not.

                        Okay, what now?

                        Saturday, January 07, 2006

                        When it memes, it pours

                        Having tagged Deputys Wife with a meme a couple days ago, she turned the tables on me and tagged me right back. Her meme asks me to list five of my own weird habits and then tag five more people to do the same. So, here we go:
                        1. Whenever I am out of town and I pass a music store or pawn shop, I feel compelled to stop, go inside and check out their selection of guitars and amps.
                        2. I show up early for just about everything. I just hate to be late to things.
                        3. I put mustard on just about everything most people put ketchup on, like fries and burgers. I prefer dijon mustard to other kinds.
                        4. I will only buy watches that do not need batteries or winding. Mechanicals, solar-powered or kinetic are all I wear.
                        5. When dining at a buffet, I prefer to eat my salad last.
                        This time, I am tagging Lu (if she is present in the blogosphere), Wickwire, Yellojkt, Courtney and Megan.

                        Thursday, January 05, 2006

                        Four things meme

                        I've been tagged by Peri (yay!) with a four things meme, so here it goes:

                        Four jobs you’ve had in your life:
                        1. Newspaper carrier for the Detroit News
                        2. That guy who sells sandwiches out of coolers at office buildings
                        3. Staff recording engineer
                        4. Remote phone switch diagnostics for AT&T
                        Four Movies that you would watch over and over:
                        1. Spinal Tap
                        2. The Matrix
                        3. The Usual Suspects
                        4. the Princess Bride
                        Four TV shows you love to watch:
                        1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
                        2. Angel
                        3. CSI
                        4. Without a Trace
                        Four places you have been on vacation:
                        1. Key West
                        2. La Posado del Capitan LaFitte (resort on a remote beach 45 minutes south of Cancun, Mexico)
                        3. Mackinac Island in the wintertime
                        4. Yellowstone National Park
                        Four websites you visit daily:
                        1. Enough Already
                        2. FOMA
                        3. What the (Insert Expletive Here)
                        4. An Audience of One
                        Four of your favorite foods:
                        1. Pizza
                        2. Ribs
                        3. Chocolate
                        4. Single Malt Scotch
                        Four places you would rather be right now:
                        1. Las Vegas, NV
                        2. Patagonia
                        3. La Posada del Capitan LaFitte
                        4. Denver, CO

                        I am tagging:
                        1. Deputys Wife
                        2. Emily
                        3. Free
                        4. Keb
                        So have at it already ! Whatcha waiting for ???

                        Tuesday, January 03, 2006

                        Freakish Misery


                        One of my favorite film lines is from The Princess Bride (a film about, ironically, "true love"), when Westley explains what a fight "to the pain" means. He explains that he will cut off Prince Humperdinck's hands, feet, nose and eyes. Then, he says to the prince:
                        Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
                        Well, one week from today, my wife will be leaving me in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

                        That's because, one week from today, the moment I never thought would arrive will arrive. And once that moment has come and gone, it really will be over. The fat lady really will sing.

                        My best friend, my soulmate, the woman I have been married to for 15 years and who I've known for 20 years, more than half my life, will become my ex-wife. Our marriage will be reduced to a series of legal documents, cliches, casual humor and countless awkward future conversations with the legions of people who don't know yet and won't know until and unless I tell them.

                        One week from today, my divorce will be "final," whatever the heck that means. For some reason not entirely clear to me, the signing of a piece of paper by a judge will somehow make me more divorced than I am right now, as if that is actually possible. This will be one court appearance at which I will literally be a fish out of water. Instead of doing the representing, I will be a litigant. Instead of asking the questions, I will be answering them. Instead of exercising control over the litigation process as I normally do as a trial lawyer, I will be subject to the mercy of the court and under the control and direction of my attorney.

                        I will appear before a judge who, in a bizarre twist of fate, I actually know from outside the courtroom rather than from in. She is the sister of a prominent state representative and friend who I vigorously supported in the last election, and who won. For some reason unclear to me, I find appearing before her for my divorce to be a collossal embarrassment, but I can't pinpoint precisely why. I highly doubt that I am the first attorney, the first elected official, or the first person she knows outside the courtroom over whose divorce she will preside.

                        Though I'm surrounded by well-meaning, supportive, and caring friends, I must admit a certain degree of amazement by some of the things people say to me about it. Many, a great many, feel the "finalization" of my divorce is cause for celebration. Some are openly hostile to my soon2bx and call her names. Some ask me repeatedly when she will be "the hell out of [my] house." Some feel that there is some urgency in getting me out into the dating scene, even though I have expressed a pathetically anemic interest in doing so. Some tell me how much "better off" I will be without her or once it is all over.

                        From others, I get a distinct sense that some think that divorce is no big deal, nor is the fact that I am about to become the primary single parent of two little girls after their mommy permanently moves to Chicago sometime next week. Yet others thankfully seem to appreciate the gravity of the situation.

                        To the extent that I am eager to get this over with, it's mainly because the anxiety of the unknown seems more difficult to handle right now than the actual task before me. I feel that the quicker I move toward a daily routine and begin to understand what life as a single parent will really be like, the quicker my anxiety and stress will fade into the background. Then, and only then, will I be able to begin the process of looking forward and putting together the pieces of my life, which I desperately hope is nowhere near as shattered as it seems.