U2: No Line on the Horizon

Rolling Stone gave it five stars, proclaiming it an instant classic. Other sources offered high praise: "A bold re-imagining . . ." "Bold, beautiful, and highly speculative . . ." "The album U2 always wanted to make . . ." "A times, magnificent . . ." So, I pre-ordered the deluxe version of U2's No Line on the Horizon on iTunes and counted down the minutes until the download became available. I transferred it onto my iPod. I hopped in the car. I turned it on. I turned it up. And . . . I was bewildered. I've been listening to this record all week, and I'm just not getting it. I'm not feeling the vibe. It's not living up to the hype. It doesn't strike me as anywhere near as experimental as it's touted as being, and a classic it is most certainly not destined to be. We've got Brian Eno, Daniel Lanois, and Steve Lillywhite recording and producing this thing, all of whom have worked with U2 in the past. Eno, known the world over for his sound sculptures and ambient music, as well as a producer for Dido, Coldplay, Sinead O'Connor, Laurie Anderson, David Bowie, Jane Siberry and more. Lanois, known for producing such legends as Bob Dylan and Emmylou Harris, not to mention modern hitmakers such as Peter Gabriel, Luscious Jackson and Dashboard Confessional. Lillywhite, whose curriculum vitae includes a who's who of the last 30+ years of the music business: The Rolling Stones, Dave Matthews Band, the Talking Heads, Matchbox Twenty, Morrissey, Phish, Siouxsie and the Banshees, XTC and Crowded House. Despite all this considerable talent, and a documented history of successful collaboration, "No Line on the Horizon" does not meet expectations. I can still remember, from over 20 years ago, playing "Sunday Bloody Sunday" and "I Will Follow" in my high school rock band. I still remember the call in radio show on which I first heard "New Year's Day." I remember falling asleep in college to "The Unforgettable Fire." I remember the shivers caused by "The Streets Have No Name." I remember the shock of "Achtung Baby," and the disappointments of "Zooropa" and "Pop." Obviously, U2 is a hard act to follow, even by U2. "No Line on the Horizon," the title track, is a mediocre song. It's not a logical song to begin with. The mellismas in the chorus sound out of tune, strained, and they go on too long. It's not pleasant to listen to, and it doesn't make me want to sing along. "Magnificent" takes forever to get off the ground. It's almost a full minute before the song actually starts. Then, once it sounds like it is finally beginning, the main riff goes nowhere. Its theme is in a minor key, slows rhythmically at the end, and then kind of dies a slow death each time it cycles. There just isn't much of a build anywhere. It starts and stops. Not a lot of flow there. The breakdown in the middle goes nowhere. There is a guitar solo. The Edge, probably the most innovative guitarist in popular music today, has started playing solos on this record. It just doesn't work. While the rock-n-roll reinvention of his style on "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb" blew so many away, the work on this record is mediocre and evocative of the past rather than a stp toward the future. "Moment of Surrender" is a bizarre, Motown-like soul-inspired song that is interesting until the chorus comes along. I have no idea who else is singing through the chorus, but it sounds like the entire band, and it just doesn't sound right. Experimental? Yes. Good? I don't think so. "Unknown Caller" is another one that takes a full minute to actually begin. I'm not frightened of lengthy introductions, but this record pushes the concept far beyond the bounds of plausibility. When it does begin, it unfolds slowly. The chorus is another entire band effort, practically spoken word, delivered in somewhat of a rhythmic monotone, actually limited to just one note. Bizarre. "Get on Your Boots" is something you've probably already heard on the radio. It's not a very good song, and why it was selected as the first single is a mystery to me. "Stand Up Comedy" is the stand-out on the record. It's funky, it moves, and the guitar sounds are fantastic. Bono's falsetto could probably have been left on the cutting room floor, but it's bearable, particularly given the strength of the rest of this song. The guitar solo on this one is the least bewildering on the entire album. "Fez - Being Born" is another song with a minute-long intro. When the vocals start, I hear cacophony. I'm not sure that's what was intended. Just when I was starting to forget how bad all four guys sound singing together, they start back up in this song. "White as Snow" is a nice, acoustic song, that invokes a rootsy, cowboyish, folksy feel. Until what sounds like a French Horn comes in, which sounds totally out of place and oddly cheesy. "Breathe" is okay. The verse vocal line is not a melody. It's an attempt to say far more than is reasonable in the amount of time it's being said. It's in 3/4 time, which is kind of cool and waltz-like, only way too fast to actually waltz to. "Cedars of Lebanon" is practically spoken word over guitar, bass and drums. The song does not go much of anywhere, but instead rambles. I was really looking forward to this record, particularly with all the hype. I'm sure I'll give it another chance, and maybe I'll like it better in a few weeks or months. For now, though, I'd pick NPR on my drive home over this any day of the week.